I learned, in this way, that everyone will tell you to discover your voice and speak your mind, until you do. So here we were, on our way to rediscover a time that never happened, so that everything could be the same as it never was.
You see, once you start out in life walking backwards, it isn’t very easy to turn around and walk forwards.
You can pretend, for a while. I really enjoyed pretending. I found out that you can wake up one day and decide to be a different person, at least on the outside, and, for a while, I quit thinking about the Alpha and the Omega, swirling back through time to infinity and forward to an infinite future, no beginning or end, incomprehensible.
I practiced a kind of self-enforced brain damage. I never told the things I had read in the manuscripts.
I was looking for something then. Mostly I wanted good times, stiff drinks, and like other girls, love.
Instead, I found Leslie.